This is the complete inverse of waiting to kiss until your wedding day. Since you're not technically doing it, you can still technically remain pure. Dry humping most commonly takes place in the woods at church camp or in dorm rooms after Campus Crusade meetings.
How else are you supposed to wait till you're married? By compromising with this. It still makes you feel guilty, but that's kind of why it's hot.
32 comments:
Guilty.
Que j'adore frottage...
The other Shari is also Guilty.
GUILTY.
Suggestion for another post: Christian pre-marriage foreplay is backrubs.
Not sure if you ever went to a retreat or went to a christian college and you'd have alot of people giving backrubs. In dark rooms.
Backrubs are already on my list of what to post about! Backrub CHAINS, specifically. Let me know any other ideas you have!
Hello!
I got your comment on one of my blogs. Thanks for the link. I love what you are writing about here. Great observations. Seriously. Funny and True. I love it.
Guilty!
At the risk of maybe missing the obvious here (not being a native english speaker), what exactly does dry-humping mean?
It means thrusting your pelvic areas together,while fully clothed,until the guy has an orgasm and gets real embarrassed.
BWAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeremiah
Lol, one of my girlfrieds back when I was a teen went to a christian school and told me we should dry hump. I was like "OK", and she started to grind on me. I started to get undressed and she was like "what are you doing" I was like "I though we were going to dry hump" Lol, I had never heard that term before and I thought dry humping was a literal thing that just meant having sex right away with no foreplay and she was still dry at the start. I was super bummed out, lol. Not sure if this is to graphic for this type of blog or not. Apologies if it is.
Moral of the story though; Christian girls, if you tell your boyfriend you want to dry hump, please explain to him what it actually means so he doen't get bummed out like I did. LOL.
I mastered the art of doing the humpty hump . . . in fact, that was my theme song at the time.
Kevin, in my experience we bumped and grinded until she came. But I was still the one who was embarrassed.
Wow, how did we get this far from the TRUTH? Reading this post is discouraging.
Jesus came to clarify the law for us. The 7th commandment says "You shall not commit adultery" Exodus 20:14 In the sermon on the mount Jesus clarified this by saying: "...I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" Matthew 5:28
How does this translate to dry humping and sex before marriage? It is the principle of the thing. What were you thinking about while you were dry humping? Was your mind pure? If not, you have had sex with her in your heart.
Is this inconvenient when you are making out and aproaching the edge? Most definately it is! One thing Jesus never came to do is make our lives convenient for us. What He did promise though is that He will give us the strength to overcome anything the enemy may put in our path.
Respect each other sexually while you are dating. I guarantee it will be worth it once you are married and you can enjoy sex guiltfree and without regrets - just the way God designed it.
Always refreshing to hear the TRUTH from Defi Nate.
(PS I was thinking of the Virgin Mary.)
About that clarification, Jon K.
Jesus came to fulfill the law, not to clarify it. The law stands to show we can't keep it.
Christian culture tries to translate what it looks like to obey the law and then in doing that they miss the point. "How does this translate?" "Respect each other sexually." "Was your mind pure?" "I guarantee it will be worth it." Going in this direction actually takes us away from engaging the purpose of Christ as he relates to the law. It's the direction that Christian culture goes in.
I should confess that I was not familiar with this blog before I posted my comments last night. I found myself on this thread and posted my thoughts quite spontaneously. Then, after reading more of the posts and threads, I was tempted to delete my post. It was apparent that my view would not be shared by any frequenters of this blog. Whether what I said in my last post was truth or not – the truth is not being sought here. Instead, I believe this blog is dedicated to poking fun at our parents religion. I find myself even now trying to be very careful what I say lest I be derided for saying something that hints at christian culture…that evil phenomenon.
Stephy, thank you for correcting me, Jesus did come to fulfill the law. But He did not come to do away with the law. What I meant by clarification was related to the passages I mentioned where let’s face it, Jesus does expand on the 7th commandment. He does not delete it, He explains (clarifies…) it. Maybe some portions of the law as given in the OT are obsolete now considering Christ’s sacrifice, but the law remains. The law is not a thing meant to beat you down into a cowering whimpering wretch. True, it is a rule you can measure yourself against, but that is not it’s only purpose. The law also gives us a glimpse into who God is. You want a relationship with God (not all that other ridiculous, unenlightened “christian culture” trash)? Well, how do you get to know your God? How do you know His personality?
Getting back to the subject of this post (I know, it is much more comfortable to ensnare ourselves with distracting issues of theology and semantics rather than tackle a real issue that relates directly to our lives), you tell me where I went wrong. How was my analysis (let me be the spokesperson for christian culture here… :)) incorrect? Why should we turn our nose up and sneer at purity of thought as Mel T would advocate? Was it incorrect of me to make the parallel between purity of mind when you dry hump someone and purity of mind relating to adultery? Is purity of mind a silly pursuit just because it is impossible? In short, what would be “the purpose of Christ as He relates to the law” regarding dry humping?
Where's the Minotaur? Somebody call the Minotaur, his dinner just walked in.
John K, It is not "sneering at purity of thought" that is taking place. The problem lies in the fact that sexuality is rarely discussed in Christian culture, unless it pertains to "confessing your struggle" or "waiting for marriage." There is no place for open discussion about sexual desire unless it is being condemned as an evil temptation. It is black or white. Sex is bad outside of marriage, and "enjoyable and guilt free" within marriage. The fact that sex is designed for marriage does not provide practical means to come to terms with the reality that we are sexual beings living in a sex obsessed society. Some Christians are open to discussing this reality, but rarely do they offer a practical solution to this moral dilemma. They simply say "don't do it." There is not much thought to how we can accomplish purity in a society that no longer caters to cherishing chastity.
One result of this lack of consideration: dry humping. It's a way to explore sexuality without following through to intercourse. It will likely lead to guilty feelings and a conversation with a pastor who will reiterate God's plan for our lives regarding his intention that sex is designed for marriage. The pastor will then pray that the seeker will trust God's power to flee temptation. And they will touch base every now and then to see if the seeker is still "struggling."
The problem: The pastor, though his intentions are good, has provided no practical advice. From the age of approximately 14, until we get married, (which could be a LONG way off) we are forced to wade through the guilty feelings of being sexual beings. Some people are good at squelching their desires. Some are not. I do not believe it is God's intention that we stifle these desires until that "blessed day" when we're finally free to explore any wild sexual romp with our spouse. I'm not saying that we should have sex outside of marriage. I am not saying we should dry hump our partner until we're free to remove our clothing. What I'm saying is that the phenomena of justifying dry humping "in the meantime" is evidence that Christian culture has failed to provide a practical path to practicing purity, even though it is demanded of us. Instead they take the command "flee sexual immorality," repeat it constantly, but fail to provide a means to accomplish it, let alone an allowance to discuss the reality of sexual desire. This lack of honesty is detrimental to the church. Tolerance and justification for the dry humping trend, emphasizes the fact that what we are told to do, and what we actually do, does not add up. We are not mocking purity of thought. Many of us desire it, but the lack of honesty about being human, within Christian culture, does not lead to purity of thought. It leads to dry humping.
If you wish, I will explain why many of us find it funny.
Perfectly said, Chrissy.
Actually, I advocate sneering at purity of thought.
Yeah, we all got that, Mel.
haha...the "Christian sex"...
it's insane to meet people who have truly never kissed until their wedding day so everyone thinks they're so holy.
but their friends know they might not have kissed each others lips, but they've certainly done the dry humping...
These are all very good points.
When I first became a believer ... 25 years ago, we used to use a phrase "thought-life". It refers exactly to all that we think. As we think in our hearts, so we are. What we do in the flesh originates in the mind and is the fruit of those thoughts.
And you are asking such a good, and crucial question ... about pure thoughts.
I lead a young woman's bible study and we talk about these things all the time. We are all wonderfully honest with each other, and are becoming more and more honest with the Lord.
Much of the reason that we have these struggles is because our mind is Satan's battleground. This is where the flesh vs spirit thing happens. Here you are ... with anything else on your mind, and in comes a tempting thought. You think that you are the actual originator of the thought, because Satan prefers you to think that he doesn't exist, or doesn't exist as closely as this, but it is really him whispering the thought in your ear.
The first thing is to discern the thought as from your personal enemy (... and yes, you have one, but Christ defeated him at the cross, so greater is He that is in you than he who is in the world). I have a thought --- anything, not just on the topic of sex --- and I ask ... "Is this thought from the Lord?" Try it.
When you identify that it is of the enemy, get out your sword of the spirit ...the Word of God (Ephesians 6).
Here you go .... you're having desires for intimacy and you are in the company of someone else who's hearing the same nonsense.
Since someone has already mentioned it above, remember that the Lord says, "flee immorality ..."
So you boot out the tempting thought and replace it with God's word, "Flee immorality!" You keep that new thought - "Flee immorality!" - going on and on in your head .... and you act on it. Jesus says we are not to be merely hearers, but doers of the word, or else our foundation will falter. So you must act on it. Flee!
So while you are now parting from this other person, abruptly and without apology, if necessary, you are continuing to keep your mind filled with "flee immorality, flee immorality, flee immorality" until you are completely away from the situation and the person who is also in Satan's sights.
You see, Satan is trying to bring you both down.
Dry-humping is feeding the flesh, not the spirit, which is in you. Perhaps you are not sure whether the Spirit of the Living God is within you ... but confess to Him what is going on and ask Him to be in you if you aren't sure!!
Satan is a clever, wylie fox. He just doesn't suggest a temptation once, but like your video battle games, he comes in with all sorts of reinforcments - thoughts to feed the flesh and bring you down. So he will whisper all sorts of rationalizations to his temptations ... he can even make them sound godly ... but ask the Lord to keep you sharp in your discernment. And never underestimate the power of the flesh (satan) to rationalize sin.
Sometimes the rationalizations come through the other person with you ... it's still Satan, folks.
Your mind is his battleground, but Jesus guarentees the victory if you will put off the sinful thought and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, with the Word of God, and put on that Word, and act upon it ... trust and obey. (Ephesians 4:22-24)
2 Corinthians 10:3-6 says:
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments (rationalizations) and every high thing (thoughts) that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."
Victory is 100% sure!!
If you are feeling guilty, don't let it drive you from Christ. Satan loves to discourage us with feelings of guilt so that we want to hide from the Lord. If you want honesty and victory, be honest with the Lord. He's heard it all! Confess your weaknesses and sin to Him. He wants to bring you out of it; He does!! Ask Him to give you the discernment, His Word (good idea to be studying it, too!) and His resurrection power to overcome the flesh. He will be faithful! You will be amazed!
You will become more and more built up in Him as you take each step this way with the Lord. Be in His word. It's not school! It's not anything to make you feel performance-driven, it's His love letter of friendship to you, to help you and guide you to a peace and a glory and a purity that is not otherwise possible. But with Him is really is possible!! Trust Him. He's AWESOME!!
May He bless you abundantly with life! Remember Jesus' very words in John 10:10 ~ "The thief does not come except to steal, to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;
that each of you should know how to possess his own vesel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;
that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.
For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.
Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit."
~ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
Hearing voices, are we?
Mel T, I will happily address your question, but I have question for you first ....
Have you ever repented from you sin and completely surrendered your life to Jesus Christ for salvation?
I'm not trying to be a wise guy, I just want to understand from where you are coming with your question.
Yes, Donna, but only for the right to fantasize about his mother.
Anyone else ever wonder about Christians who have never done anything wrong, (like the "big sins": sex, drugs, alcohol, etc...) and have no problem practicing abstinence? Cuz I've met a few. They have no "struggle" to confess and they are usually in some form of leadership. I started to wonder what their abstinence was even worth (I think Stephy hits on this in her purity ring post). If you've managed to squelch your sex drive to the point of having no desire to have sex, why is it considered utmost purity? I mean, they don't WANT to have sex. How is it difficult to abstain from something you've thoroughly convinced yourself to not want? If there is no abstaining necessary, then they've overcome the need to practice abstinence. It's beyond self control. It's complete self denial. I'm not saying all Christians have managed to do this, but some have. They're the ones "dry humpers" shamefully confess to. What's up with that? Why is it considered purity when they don't even want to have sex? If the goal is to have a completely stunted sex drive, and a few actually achieve it, what exactly makes their abstinence valuable? What is their abstinence worth?
Yeah! And if & when they do have sex, what will that be worth? Or anybody's sex. How about that? What can it mean? Have any of you ever considered that your sex is not worth anything to me?
Some of you are so ridiculous. You're loop-holing sex with other actions that basically fulfill the same desire for pleasure. The Bible is clear that if you feel guilty about something then it was wrong. It's nearly impossible to dry hump and not be lusting after your partner. People are going to get the wrong impression on Christians if they believe that loop-holing is okay. Avoid immorality. I know it's hard but God can give you strength through anything. Take care :)
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